You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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