I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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