I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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