we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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