the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
