actually, I'm a sock model
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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