just come out here and I will go home with you...
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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