Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
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i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
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You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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