I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
