Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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