i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
