i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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