Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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