Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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