yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.