I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.