that's an acceptable place to lick
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
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we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.