You made me cry and you don't even care
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
im on a boat
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