he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
