He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
