and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
