After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
