Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize