new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize