I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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