The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
