did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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