Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
