There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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