On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
