it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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