she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"