We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i love accidental penises.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.