Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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