the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
