I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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