Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I believe in your delicious
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