Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
