the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
