watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
