Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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