K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
birth control should be required to get into college
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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