it hurts more in the daytime
meet me or not, i'm out of control
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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