We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
