every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
