maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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