Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
