Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
