but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize