PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...