I heard we made out
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
