You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize