Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
