things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
