How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i barfeds in our rink
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
