The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
