she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my shit smells like andre
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
