There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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